Going to California

It had been a long time since I had taken a road trip that far, and thankfully now after the fact I regret how long it had been and not how far this trip was. The trip was a great success. Below I'll share some of the reasons. First, a brief synopsis:

We left OKC and took I-40 west almost as far as it goes. The destination was Disneyland and Newport Beach, but as always the journey was at least part of the destination. The Grand Canyon was the highlight on the return. In between we took in many of the classic Route 66 diversions. My thoughts:

• You cannot appreciate the vastness of this country and especially the western portion without driving it. We clocked 2,980 miles round trip.
• Before we left, we each guessed how many moving trains we would see. The high guess was 40. We surpassed that number before hitting LA. The final total was 77, which was suppressed somewhat since some of the return drive was after dark.
• Not once did I hear, "Are we there yet?" Grandparents being along made it much better--specifically by having a second minivan and generally by just being there. If nothing else, it meant we outnumbered the kids four to three. DVD movies, iPads, and car swapping helped, but the kids were great in their own right. They never resisted when I wanted them to look out to see something. Chalk this up as a virtue of the dreaded screen time--they were never so bored with looking out the window as to not appreciate when something was worth looking at out the window.
• On the way out we hit the Blue Hole in Santa Rosa, Central Ave (old Route 66) in Albuquerque, Frontier Restaurant in Albuquerque, noticed the lava flows in Grants, NM and the continental divide just outside of Gallup (for some reason this concept was hard for me to grasp as a kid), the El Rancho Hotel in Gallup, the Wigwam Motel in Holbrook, a small bit of the Petrified Forest, and a great dinner for two in Flagstaff on the patio at Brix. I was very surprised by how fun and charming downtown Flagstaff is. 
• The Mouse knows what he is doing. The parks are orchestrated masterpieces. Nothing is left to chance or half effort. The staff ("cast members") make one feel as if he is Truman Burbank from "The Truman Show" where it is all meant for him. 
• California Adventure is underrated. We had apprehension of spending our second Disney day there (we had one-park-only passes). Fortunately we risked it. There was as much or more to do for each kid (2, 4, & 9) as there was in Disneyland. The crowd was not as intense; hence, the lines were shorter. Presentation-wise it is laid out better. In aggregate the rides were better. The 13-hours in this park did not seem as exhausting even though it came two-days after Disneyland (welcomed exhaustion due to thorough fun, but exhaustion nonetheless).
• Newport Beach, Balboa Island, Corona Del Mar, these places are of another realm. Truly amazing places. Disappointed to find Bluth's Banana Stand in Newport is fiction, but the ones on Balboa Island did not disappoint. 
• On the way back we skimmed the edge of Joshua Tree N.P. moving on to the surprisingly cool highway 62 from Twentynine Palms until Parker, AZ (the road reminded me of the uber-popular California Adventure ride Radiator Springs; there were stretches for miles where people had arranged rocks to form messages on the parallel-running railroad tracks), London Bridge and Lake Havasu, a really big (some might say Grand) Canyon, the rejuvenating scenery of Sedona, and another dinner for two in Flagstaff this time at Cottage Place. 
• Especially in California you can see lots of evidence of social desirability bias and poor economics (and congruently poor environmentalism) in the name of good intentions. Some apparently see it as a virtue.
• My formula for successful, stress-free travel is having a well-researched but flexible agenda, taking a go-with-the-flow attitude to both the desires of others as well as the reality on the ground, accepting that it is largely about exploration not efficient logistics (you are a wanderer not a deliveryman), and knowing when to call it a day (take breaks, rest; travel is supposed to be refreshing). Admittedly, I am not perfect at practicing this. 

Some pictures:

 

Wisdom from the Rubber Duck

On my recent travel of the holiday road I saw many, MANY a semi truck. On the back of one was a message that struck me as interesting. It read, "I get paid for all my miles. Do you?" Obviously this is an attempt at employee recruitment--not a message of disparagement. The implication is other truckers aren't getting all they can out of their particular employment arrangement. 

But an economist looks at this differently. Looked at through the eyes of the economic way of thinking, the message seems nonsensical. Let me explain. 

Suppose you are a trucker who only gets paid for the miles driven when actually delivering goods. If you cannot find a return load, you drive back to your point of origin "unpaid". Presumably this or something similar is what the message is getting at--the trucker with the "better" arrangement gets paid for the load-free return journey. But how can this be? To wit, it would be a remarkable thing if these two trucking situations were in existence at the same time with no meaningful differences between them otherwise. What we would have is a disequilibrium. Markets abhor those. They work to rectify them, and they do so quickly. 

Maybe we are witnessing the first step in movement toward the equilibrium, but that seems very unlikely. The message on the truck was probably there for some time. Yet it shouldn't take long for the message to do its work. And the solution it causes is not likely to be every trucker goes to work for the two-way paying firm. Much more likely truckers start to demand higher wages for the one-way journey or to have some other form of compensation, OR, and this is key, the competition for two-way payments bid down that type of pay. Of course, a combination of all these is the expected outcome. 

Finding an example of two truckers that seemingly are paid differently probably just means one is taking on a different wage risk/reward tradeoff. One way or another we would expect that every trucker gets paid equivalently once the proper adjustments are made. So the answer to the truck's message is "Yes, how could it not be the case?" 

Highly Linkable

I'm back from the land of make believe. Time to catch up. I'll have a summary post of my travels very soon.

I want to go to there and there.

Drilling and filling cavities might soon be a thing of the past.

Melinda Moyer offers a sensible examination of the science around "carbs bad, fat good" and "fat bad, carbs fine".

Here is a nice bit of push back against the extremes of over-scheduling, over-planning, and over-perfecting our children s' summers.

Ten general consumer-oriented firms have tremendous reach because of their vast brand empires as summarized in this graphic.

I love this post by Steve Landsburg because it captures an important point I try to make often. It is a point lost on many people, and in making it I get (unfairly in my opinion) the reaction from others that I am confrontational, judgmental, and snobby. You can like red while I like blue. Those are opinions. There is no right or wrong without further context. But if you tell me you like red and then always choose blue, my telling you that your behavior seems inconsistent is a good observation--not a bigoted one. Further, telling me that red is the better color to paint the ocean in a picture may not stand up to scrutiny, and we may have left the realm of equal-value opinion with this added context. Further still, opinions that have no right or wrong cannot have any arguments to support or defend them. The existence of any logical argument for or against an opinion means there must be to some extent or another right and wrong (illogical) opinions in a particular case. In short, the interjection of "it's a matter of opinion" is in many cases a cop out. And "agree to disagree" is often the argument of the weak/lazy minded with a touch of condescension.

Highly Linkable

I want to go to then.

Don Boudreaux on Piketty. Steve Landsburg on Piketty. Garrett Jones on Piketty.

Sugar bad, but fat good. I think this lady got the message.

The tide may be turning in the fight against those who want to spend OPM on the bright and shiny things. And the World Cup brings us fresh fuel to our well argued fire.

Sticking with sports, the game makers have settled with current and former college athletes. And Scott Sumner offers some critical thoughts about how anti-trust should be applied to sports leagues and organizations.

As a student of logic, I found these fallacies that don't but should exist to be quite interesting.

Detroit rapidly deteriorating as seen from Google Street View. Maybe if the just had some strong zoning laws, they could have avoided all this mess . . . No. When broad economic forces are working against you, you cannot reverse the decline by legislation or good intentions. D.C. offers a case in point.

Arnold Kling will not be invited to give a high school graduation speech any time soon, but he should be.

How to think and how to learn--including acing exams with hardly any studying. Sounds like good advice. Too much time is spent on worthless rote memorization. After all, life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

These ants are nuts!

I'm going on vacation shortly. L.A. La-La land. In my mind, I'm already there. To that end, here are some great travel tools. Especially don't miss Rome2rio.

How To Be Teflon

Everybody gets into difficult situations. EVERYBODY. Everyday. If you aren't getting in one today, good for you. Or maybe you're not trying hard enough. Or don't realize you're in one.

This is a guide to for difficult situations. Not a guide. A few ideas. They may be bad ideas. Apply at your own risk.

This isn't about being a Teflon Don. This isn't about committing crimes and getting away with it. It is about rising above a problem. Finding your way out of a difficult situation. Maybe that means a solution. Maybe that means a victory. Maybe that just means an escape hatch. They all look the same from the other side. I'm not saying this is what I'm always able to do. It is just what I try to do.

EVERYTHING IS A COMPLIMENT

Suppose someone just challenged your solution, put down your proposal, laughed at your ideas. It was supposed to be a professional setting. Just like that you are on the emotional defensive. Stop right there. They have just paid you a flattering compliment. They've just said, "As good as that was, you are better. Show me better." Now do just that.

Who cares that they were crass, inconsiderate? We'll get to the insignificant moments shortly. Or maybe they are just bad communicators. Don't hold that against them. Show them the better way. Ask them what they want, what they think. Get them to tell you the way to communicate with them.

Most people lash out when they don't understand. Confusion sparks primitive emotions bordering on physical reaction. Defuse it by giving them control. Figure out what they need to know by letting them do the talking. Always be thinking about solutions and expect that other people are too.

What if you can't? If you and the other person are at an impasse? Back away. Put time between the two of you and the problem. Notice they aren't the antagonist. You aren't the protagonist. It is the two of you against the problem even if it doesn't, and it usually won't, feel that way.

What if you still can't? Oh, well. Walk away. Some people can't communicate. Or won't. Doesn't matter because . . .

ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER, MATTER

Deep down the important people are always rooting for you. ALWAYS. And the people who aren't are insignificant. It is just like Thin Lizzy said, "If that chick don't want to know, forget her."

People we care about strive to 'get it'. That is how they show they care about us. And we reciprocate. Being a good friend, a good business partner, a good lover, a good person is about forgiveness, understanding, acceptance, and support. We're trying to make each other better while knowing we ourselves are highly imperfect. So imperfect that there isn't time to consider other's faults because . . .

THE LAST MOMENT IS INSIGNIFICANT

What has happened is literally in the past. What comes next is what matters. You will be judged by what happened and what will happen and you can only change one of those things. It is you're next decision that matters. Make it right, or make a mistake, that's okay because . . .

YOUR MISTAKES ARE TINY

Somewhere right now many people are making colossally bigger mistakes than you are right now. You've made bigger mistakes. You will make bigger mistakes. You learn, you adapt, you improve, you move on. Don't be stuck in the past with those who themselves can't escape it.

Don't focus on the mistakes; you're better than your last mistake. Much better. Now show it. Rise above it.

But how? What if it feels big? IT IS BIG. This mistake won't end well. Well, you're wrong. The Universe is big. You are small. Time is long. You are fleeting. And that moment, that mistake is but a flash that can be forgotten, undone, moved past, resolved because . . .

LIFE'S A LONG SONG

Most of life is in your own head. You sleep maybe one third of your life if you're lucky. And that time is just you and your dreams. You are alone with your thoughts perhaps another third of your time. The rest is also you thinking about what is happening around you while you intermittently interact with it.

This leaves very little time for you to actually act--be those actions successes or mistakes. And keep in mind you won't necessarily know the verdict right away if ever at all. Many actions we take are inconsequential. Many mistakes we make are as well. Some aren't, but you'll endure because . . .

YOU'RE TEFLON

You are the reason difficult situations were invented. Just so you'd have something to do.

Always be listening to your favorite music in your head. Give yourself a theme song. A whole playlist. As the situation dictates, switch to the perfect anthem.

Pretend the situation you're in is already scripted and you're just acting it out and you're the hero. Don't be cocky. Don't be arrogant. Just rise above. Let somebody else take the credit and the glory. The audience knows the truth. And they're rooting for you. Always.

Nobody Puts A Rich Man In The Corner

You may remember that I claim to be wealthier than the richest man in the world from 100 years past. I came across an anecdote to support this thesis and provide a little evidence contra Piketty.

A few weeks ago I was eating lunch at a new, moderately priced restaurant in downtown OKC, Park House. While enjoying a conversation with my lunch companions, I noticed that a familiar face was being seated at a nearby table. The man did not standout in any particular way from the other patrons, but I recognized him as Harold Hamm.  While only one table separated our dinning experience, about $12.4 billion separates our net worth.

Around us was a broad cross section of folks some in suits and ties, some in shorts and flip flops. Undoubtedly, Mr. Hamm has a lot of opportunities I and the other customers don't have. He could have ordered everything on the menu without breaking a sweat and the charge would be a rounding error in his life. A second entree would have a very expensive luxury for me that day. Regardless, the fact remains he couldn't have eaten or enjoyed the meal more than me in any practical sense. Heck, I was even seated at a slightly better table.

We are not economic equals, but you wouldn't have known it from observing us at lunch that day. There are roughly two types of realistic egalitarian societies: those that are so poor that no one is able to become unequally wealthy and those that are so rich that fortunately only few are not able to live alongside the technically wealthy.

Partial Compilation of the Wisdom of Max

As originally posted to Facebook (most recent first) over the past year and a half with slight edits for clarity, I give you

The Wisdom of Max

Me: "Max, put on your jammies."
Max: "I don't want to wear jammies."
Me: "Look, I'm wearing jammies."
Max: "No you're not! Jammies have airplanes and stuff on them. You're just wearing regular clothes!"

Max: "Do you know why they call them black widows [pronounced 'weiddos']? Because they are so weird looking."

Max: "It's really easy to kill zombies. You just get a sword and hit them a bunch. It's pretty fun." Who says Minecraft doesn't teach you anything.

Max: "Birthday parties are gooder than everyphrang because ... Getting older ... sigh..."

Max: "Old people are lucky. They can't go to jail. Guess why. Because they forget so much."

[from April] "It's chalk and water. When I asked him what he was doing he said, 'MOM, I'm sciencing.' Well, I guess I can't argue with science."

Max referring to a friend at preschool: "Heston's not really a bully. He's just kinda the boss."

I'll be vague to protect the innocent, but Max's quote was good: "Mom, tell your friend next time to NOT put nuts in the chocolate chip cookies."

In this photo we see Max explaining that "the inside of a bean has seeds that are like bullets. If you break it open and put them in a straw, you can fire them like bullets." Thank you, Papa, for that helpful bit of knowledge.

Max thinks this bird poop on the car window is cool because it looks like a rocket ship.

Max is at a friends birthday party. A few of his observations:
     "I can never trust a hot dog."
     "My real name is Max, but in your gang my name is Zane."

He's been working in this all morning running around fretting, "I don't know if this will work..."
It is an "Opathenator". He told me what it does, but it is too complex for me to summarize in a Facebook post. (notice the use of a laser)

(At Victoria's The Pasta Shop) Max said, "Bring me all the lemons."

Max wants everyone to know he had three dreams last night (2 bad and 1 good): 

1. We as a family were going on a train ride and he fell in the river. 
2. He was being chased by dragons and one ate him. 
3. A jet landed right by our garage (this was the good one. He said I would like it and maybe I'll have it sometime). 

     He then said, "Dreams are like listening to music with headphones only without headphones."

Max: "If you put honey all over [which he pronounces as 'O-er'] your yard, you'd have ants EVERYWHERE!"

Max: "I AM happy. I'm just not acting happy."

Max: "Guess what whiskers are for."
Me: "What?"
Max: "To shave."
Walked right into that one. But he continue, "They actually are just to give you something fun to shave."

Max: "If you tell somebody you went potty, but you didn't, and you don't tell them the truth, it's a lie. . . . 
I thought of that all by myself. That's what I do. I think of interesting things."

Laying down with Max while was going to sleep and me thinking from the long silence that he was, he raised up to say, "If I had some hot macaroni and there were ants nearby, I'd put it on the ants so they would die. Ice would work too."

Today Max and Elise went to the Myriad Botanical Gardens. Max said, "Mom, I have to ask you something. Can I pick these flowers? Can I take these flowers home?"
April replied, "No, you cannot."
Max said, "Okay, I just had to ask."

So Max was drawing with Eva today. He drew this guy in the middle and said, "that's a vampire." 
Eva asked, "How do you know what a vampire is?" He answered, "A vampire is just a naked zombie." And .... now I will have nightmares.

Max: "I wish I was three! Everything was easy when I was three. But in a while I'll be five, and that will be so cool!"

[from Nana]: While keeping Eva, Max and Elise this weekend, I gave Max and Elise both orange popsicles. Max quickly ate half of his then set it in his plate. Elise laid hers which was barely touched down immediately and grabbed his.
Max: "Hey! That's mine!"
Me: "That's okay just take hers she had barely touched it."
Max: "It might have germs, she licked it."
Me: "But Max she's your sister you don't care if you eat after your sister do you?"
Max: "No, not now that she is in our family."
Me: "Well she has always been in your family, she has the same Mommy and Daddy as you, remember when she was born?"
Max: "Yes, but when we first got her we didn't eat after her or anything for a while until we finally let her be in our family."
Guess it is one of those exclusive families that only accepts the best...

Max: "Papa, sometimes people think things that aren't true, but they don't know."

More from Max: "Some times things are funny, [shakes his head] but people don't laugh."
"You know bad words? You can learn good things from bad words."

Max: "Daddy, does it frustrate you that the house is taller than you."
Me: "no, not really."
Max: "But it's frustrating when things are taller than you."
Later . . .
Max: "My favorite thing to do today is to watch Eva while she plays. That bothers her. I like distracting her."

As I was grinding coffee this morning, Max said, "If you run out of concrete you can use coffee but it is really hard to do. REALLY HARD! You have to add boiling water and wait a long time."

Max: "David Graybill [his 6'4" cousin] couldn't take a bath. He is too tall. Do you know why David grew so tall? Let me tell you. Some people grow wide [he stands with his legs apart and arms lifted out to demonstrate]. But David grew long [he stands tightly together very straight like a pencil]. It happens at night. You don't notice because it is at night. But it happens."

Max: "If Superman was a real person, he'd be made of steel. But his cape wouldn't. His cape would be made of red cape stuff."

April: "I'm sending you kids to boarding school for the summer. I can't take the fighting."
Max: "I don't want to go to boring school. I don't want to ever go to boring school. I like my house."

[at Pi on the Plaza District] Max walked up to this sign and said, "What is my imagination saying?"

Elise is watching Sesame Street. Max can't figure out for the life of him what this is.

Max: "Dreams are important. They are good for you--even bad dreams."

Playing with Eva, Max said, "Remember what we did a long, long, long time ago, before today ..?" The rest isn't important. The specification that three long times ago is "before today" was the interesting part.

[from Nana]: Last night we gave our grandson Max (age 4 1/2 yrs.) a lava rock we found in the desert on our trip to Yuma. I said, "We picked up this lava rock for you in the desert. It is from a real volcano." His eyes got a look of excitement and alarm and he took it from me the way a person would take the surprise gift of a million dollars. "Wow" he said, "WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?" I told him we found it in the desert. He continued, "I mean, HOW DID YOU PICK IT UP? IT HAD TO BE BURNING HOT!"

Max today: "Robots were invented in the olden days to help people catch rabbits and chickens." I think he's watching too much Looney Tunes.

Max is focused in school work and focused in his Martial Arts.

Max from the shower: "Elise doesn't have boy parts! Where are her boy parts! She is like a cow. Milk comes out of there." How is he just noticing this?

Max explaining: "... And then a BIG giant ball of fire came down and there was fire everywhere and it killed all the dinosaurs. Then the scientists buried them, and then there were people who grew up, but first the scientists so they could bury the dinosaurs..." He drifted off as his non-sequitur became apparent.

Seems like he'd make a good pet owner.

So what do you do when you're playing hide-n-go seek, you are winning (not able to be found), and you have to go to the bathroom? Champions, like Max, apparently stay in place and pee their pants. ‪#‎commitment‬‪ #‎WhatChampionsDo‬

Eva has two friends over for a sleepover.
Me: "Max, let's get out of Eva's room and let the girls play."
Max: "No way! I wanna party with them!"

Max: "We talk about vinegar at school. You can drink it but it seems really bad but it is good for your bones."

Max relaxing in his new blanket-fort-house. There is a 20-foot "secret entrance" that runs behind the kitchen and around the side. It's really cool.

Max is showing Elise Minecraft. He is sad because in the zoo he built the piranha has jumped out of its pond and is going to die.

In another conversation, Me: "You need to get to sleep. It's a school night." Max's sharp reply: "I don't go to school at night!"

Max: "Your pants would be really stinky if you had cheese in them for a really long time." I am now checking all his clothing.

[from Nana]: Babysitting Max age 4 1/2 yesterday he told the dolls, "daddy has to go to work to buy food for your or else you will starve to death and Daddy will go to jail." then he looks up for a second and considers that thought, "well maybe I wont go to jail, then he continues, yes Daddy would go to jail."

April is taking Eva to the OKC Philharmonic tonight to see Sarah Chang play violin. I was telling her that a lot of people will be dressed very fancy tonight. Max said, "I don't like fancy." "What do you like?" I asked. "Cool," he replied.

At the end of her workout yesterday, April was out of breath and Max said, "Mom! When you are out of breath you have to go outside and eat some air or you might pass out!"

Max: "Flowers make nectar in their tummies like we make poop. And bees making honey. Lots of animals make things for us..." It went on from there for some time. Chickens are his favorite animal.

Max says: "You don't want the hedgehog to see his shadow - then there will be 1000 more days until fall comes."

So, Max pulled one of my books off the shelf and asked what it was about. It was Brian Greene's "The Elegant Universe", and it was opened to a diagram about relativity. He is now running through the house attempting to go fast enough to time travel. He didn't understand when I told him that if he does, I won't be able to tell.

Now this is a bubble bath.

Max: "Today at school I saw where you get Bible'd."
Me: "What?"
Max: "Bible'd!" [this actually went back and forth several times with him getting VERY insistent]
Me: "What do you mean?"
Max: "You know, with the big bathtub."
Me: "Oh, baptized."
Max: "Xactly! Daddy, have you ever been Bible'd?"
I didn't know how to answer.

Eva is at a birthday party next door that is "girls only". There is an age factor too, but that isn't something he could understand. Max: "Mom, for my birthday send a note to every girl in the whole wide world, 'No girls allowed!'"

Max: "Don't forget to set up the Montana Fire tonight in my room."
April: "What do you mean?"
Max: "You know, the thing that blows air in my face."
April: "Oh - the humidifier."

Max: "When we left on our trips, I worry about my toys and our house. What if somebody broke in and put a bomb in it. That would be crazy! I'd punch the bad guys in the tummy."

Max at Whole Foods whispering to April: "Mom, mom. I want to say that lady looks freaky, but that would hurt her feelings."

Max (in a Darth Vader voice): "Luke, I am your father . . . Son, and Holy Spirit." He might be confused.

Just after closing the door as the last of the cousins left from Christmas; Max: "Daddy, sometimes when I'm telling people goodbye, it makes me really sad."

Max: "Why did Nana make her Thanksgiving chicken on Christmas?"

He's loving his new swing set. Don't tell him it's too cold!

Max: "Did you know that you can see pictures of things in your brain? I'm looking at cool pictures right now. Can you see them?"

One of Max's rules seems to be to always stay in character.

One of his last thoughts before finally going to sleep brought Max rising straight up to ask, "What is faster a duck or a monster?" I knew immediately there is no correct answer I could give to this question as judged by him. Fortunately, he let me know, "I think a duck is faster running and flying."

Max is glad to be done practicing his Christmas program at preschool, "It was very disruptive to the day."

Max: "How did God create everything? Does he have a magic wand?"

"In Heaven can you fly? How? Do you say, 'I want to fly?' and you grow wings?" (With a concerned look.) "But I don't want to grow wings. I might just be saying, 'I want to fly'."

Max: "Elevators are pretty good places to pick your nose, but you shouldn't do it."

Upon learning what crab cakes really were Max said, "Crab cakes should be cupcakes shaped like little crabbies."

Max right now is jumping on the couch saying, "I love this night! It is like a birthday party!" Eva, watching MNF observed, "I just don't get some beer commercials. I like the one where he goes to the top of the mountain and pulls the beer out. I get that one."

Max: "Sometimes coaches look goofy."

Max: "Santa can't jump very high; he's a big dude."

Max is on a roll: "A giraffe could eat you." Me: "Well, no. Giraffes don't eat people." Max: "But if you had a leaf suit on they might."
Later: "Sometimes Santa comes into your house and looks around and if you have a bunch of toys he might only give you some and if you had a whole lot he'd leave you none."

Several from Max:
"Cows have to get the milk out of their skin or they will die."
"It is hard to pick your nose if it is sore but sometimes you have a big booger and if it is really big you need to wash your hands like ten times."
"If you didn't have a mouth you couldn't ask for candy if you were a little kid. That would be sad. "

Max: "Sometimes when you need to go pee-pee really bad someone talks to you and distracts you and you go pee-pee a little in your pants."

Max: "Papa, your neck looks like a turkey's."

Max: "It was easy for God to make aliens because they're so close to Heaven."

One of the byproducts of attending OU games is Max insisting we spend Sunday morning re-enacting the entire pregame in the backyard. I "get" to be the fans who have to stand up and clap and cheer at all the appropriate times. He is the players warming up, the announcer, the band, and the players running out of the locker room. The neighbors must love us.

[at the OU football game] Max: "What's a 'Hunnicutt'?" Me: "It means 'settling' and 'disappointment'."

At bath time.
Me: "I have to get your hair wet to wash your hair, Max."
Max: "NO! 'No' means no, daddy!"

Max: "Jesus has very good hearing."

Max's dream:
"A dinosaur was after me and 'Ah-Weece'. We hid under the table. He didn't kill us, but he zapped Mama."

Things I've learned this morning: Max, "In the world of donuts there are yeast donuts and cake donuts."

Max says, "Daddy doesn't wear a shirt when he mows - so neither am I"

Max gets Trick or Treat



Max was seriously concerned about his Sooners yesterday.

Wisdom from Max:
"A long time ago ghosts got into dinosaurs and thats why you don't see them any more."
"The beetles are the leaders of the bugs." Me: "Why?" Max: "Just because."

Max: "I'm a Wichita man. I'm from Wichita."
Homophone innocence.

"It's a glass of water." 100% his own idea and execution.

Max: "When you get old [elderly], you have to hear everything twice."

Max, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you, Daddy. Then I'll be able to go in the attic by myself." Apparently that is the measure of adulthood. He followed it with, "But I don't want to go into the attic." Quite the dilemma.

Max, "A magazine is a book you read when you go to the dentist."

[from Aunt Susie] A conversation between me and my 4yr old nephew:
Me: Max, I really like you
Max: I like me, too

Max reacts to eating a chocolate mouse


Max explained to me, "People call it a washcloth, but it's just a little towel."

April: "Max, please stop playing in the bathroom." Max, combing his hair: "I'm not playing, I'm being handsome."

April, "Max, is there anything you want from the store?"
Max, "Hmmm... Do they have gummies that look like bears?"
April, "When have you had Gummy Bears?"
With a confused look, Max, "Gummy Bears???"

Max just told me that Elmo was nice, but the dirty man was mean. I think he meant Oscar the Grouch.

Max's joke:
Max, "Mom, today at school I had a hand sandwich."
April, "No, you had a ham sandwich."
Max, "No, a hand sandwich. I ate it with my hand!"
"...I'm just kidding. It was peanut butter and jelly."

Max as the Flash (Flash wore an apron, right?)


Max was almost asleep when his eyes shot open with fear and regret as he worried, "I don't want Jesus to retire." Relax, he is not a prophet. Our priest, Father Boyer of St. Mark the Evangelist, is retiring tomorrow. Max is vague on what a priest is and completely unfamiliar with the concept of retirement.

Max plays Air Hockey


Mothers get accused of many things being their fault. This was a new one on April. Max: "Mommy! You broke my ideas."

Max says: "If God were not in the sky but was on the floor that would be cute because God is cool."

Not sure what this means. Max, "Let's pretend we don't have super powers."

Max to Elise: "I'm gonna squeeze the cutsy out of you." He said it in a sweet way, but it was still a little concerning.

Max's word of the day is 'sanitize': "Carrots are dirty. They have to be washed and sanitized."

Remember when finding a stick could make you happy?

Max sings Taylor Swift


Advice from Max: "It would be really hard to put lava in a water balloon, so don't even try it."

[at Easter] Max found an egg with money in it and said, "I'm gonna get all this money, then I can go to college, then I'll be rich forever!"

From the Wisdom of Max: Did you know that cheese makes you stop dying? Farmers put medicine in cheese.

Me from behind a closed door: "It's me, Baby Elise."
Max: "No it's not."
Me: "Oh yeah, it is."
Max: "You don't sound like Elise."
Me: "I changed my voice, I'm Elise."
Max: "If you Elise, pee your pants."
Checkmate Max.

April to me: "We need to start watching on Netflix 'Breaking Bad'."
Max with a distraught look on his face: "Oh no, can we fix it!?"

What I heard from the other room:
Max: "Eat this."
Eva: "EEEWWWW!"
Max: "It's yucky.... Don't eat it."
I did not investigate. Some things are better left unknown.
From April: The first thing that Max said to me this morning was "I went to the grocery store by myself and I had cheese". I asked him if it was a dream. He said "yes and papa was there and there was a shark".

April: "This is the coolest morning ever - we saw a fire truck testing its ladder and we saw a hot air balloon."
Max: "And we saw beautiful trees and a beautiful baby and a beautiful you."

Some of Max's more interesting questions of the day (he has many everyday):
"How do things not break?"
"How is your head attached to your shoulders?"
"How long cents does a kite cost?" (Pretty sure he meant how 'many' cents).